What’s the surest way to rupture blood vessels in a maximum number of Albertans?

Inflict on them a mouthy environmentalist from out of the province.

When they’re from another country with its own eco-horrors, the indignation approaches a collective stroke.

Robert Kennedy Jr. is now Alberta’s Caucasian David Suzuki with the added annoyance advantage of scheduled annual visits, accompanied by a grating pack of liberal Hollywood barely-weres.

Albertans never fail to fall for his bait — it’s the nature of things.

This year, Kennedy’s trespass was declaring 90% of Alberta’s fish aren’t fit to eat, contaminated by various industrial poisons.

The predictable chorus wasn’t long in coming: “Get your pompous post-Camelot caboose back across the border and on your way out, guzzle a beaker of our pristine oilsands tailings.”

They go just as ballistic when Kennedy suggests our rivers are so beautiful, they’re worth more stringent protections. The nerve — putting our wilderness on a pedestal.

Meanwhile, Sarah Palin’s March visit to Calgary is likely to see her crib note an assault on Canada’s less expensive health-care system — winning her standing ovations and return invitations.

Kennedy’s told to clean up his own backyard, which is what he spends most of his time doing. He’ll be the first to admit the U.S. has a long way to go on the environmental front, particularly after eight years of ruinous Bush rule.

Even so, visits like Kennedy’s are a double-edged sword for his local allies, says Danielle Droitsch of the Alberta-based group Water Matters.

“I have mixed feelings — because Kennedy has an important message to consider, it might make people think,” she says.

“On the other hand, I worry people will not only ignore the issue but become more resolute in opposing solutions … he has to be careful because he has tremendous impact with his words.” In other words, using more facts and less inflammation might help.

Another function of all this angst, says Droitsch, is Albertans’ hypersensitivity over environmental criticism almost as fierce as Zamboni washing its hands of Vancouver’s Olympics.

In the U.S., it’s no thought- crime to discuss the worsening mercury contamination of fish. In other jurisdictions where he blows the whistle on local eco-habits, Kennedy’s “welcomed with open arms — he’s one of the most popular environmental advocates,” says Droitsch.

Here, we prefer shooting the messenger to following up their concerns with those crafting policy.

“People should be holding our decision-makers accountable,” says Droitsch.

There’s at the very least a seed of truth in Kennedy’s latest, given the province advises children and women of child-bearing age from consuming any quantities of certain fish.

And a 2007 University of Alberta study confirms coal-burning plants contribute to mercury levels in fish.

Alberta’s government insists most of the mercury found in our fish is naturally occurring.

What’s not known is how much of the substance — which can cause birth defects and neurological disorders — comes from the province’s coal-burning power plants, which produce 53% of Alberta’s electricity, Canada heaviest reliance.

“We might actually have to change our ingestion standards as we learn more about man-made sources of mercury,” says Droitsch.

Local psyches bruised by often hypocritical criticism of the oilsands shouldn’t stand in the way of exploring these questions.

“It’s really dangerous when you throw away ideas simply because they’re from outside the province,” says Droitsch.

“Our leaders should be held accountable.”

Right now, we’d rather hold the messengers accountable.